house to home

A lot has changed since my last visit here. We have moved from a house into a home. Our very own nest. It was always a dream of the OH (other half) and mine to save up so that we could one day have a space which we could call our own. However, in this continent, dreams sometimes stay just that. So, I had kept my heart hopeful but my mouth shut not wanting to pressurize or influence OH's career goals with financial demands. But in 2014, after what was our 7th move, we decided that the moving boxes needed to go. We sat in the cellar and looked at the worn out, exhausted cardboard boxes and just decided we were going to move again. This time, to our own pad. We had been careful with our savings over the years, letting go of temptations because the ultimate goal was always our own home. There were times when we walked on while our noses were tempted by the tantalizing aromas from the Korean/Thai/Indonesian/Indian restaurant. Grumbling stomachs were silenced with healthy portions of fruits but we persisted and every cent that we saved, we put in our little piggy bank.
When we were handed the keys, the first thing we did was to throw away the big cartons. After we were done moving the pots and pans, we threw away the boxes as well. Suddenly, we felt liberated. We had always looked at a rental space as a house and now, suddenly we were standing in our own home. We could do as we wanted. We could paint the walls pink if we felt like it. We could put up art, hang light fixtures, drill holes in walls to put shelves. It took us a year to finally get the basic things we needed. We grew up a little and came to the realization that dreams require money too. 4 years down and we have more than what we started with and ironically, we are happy that it has taken us this long to get here. Every piece we call our own has a story and it is mostly about travel, perseverance and patience. Every piece sits proudly in its rightful place reminding us of a time when we would look longingly at a store or in a magazine. It makes us feel 4 years younger and gives us the power to keep dreaming. The thing is that if you don't dream, you don't push yourself into achieving. You settle for whatever comes your way and that's not what you wanted. So, don't be afraid to dream and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

30 going on 40

I remember my 30th birthday all too well. While most of my friends were in mourning and denial, I was hopelessly optimistic about this new decade I was entering into.
No sooner had I said my thank yous to aunts, cousins, friends and colleagues for their cards, flowers and calls, I started receiving letters for diagnostic tests for afflictions I had only read about and dismissed as old age problems. Holding onto my plate of creamy birthday cake in one hand, I used the other to ask the only non-judgemental online doctor I know,(google, who else?!) to explain. I mean surely one is allowed to have atleast a year before they get thrown into the world of life-threatening diseases. Apparently not. 30 is not just a number you forget and sleep over. After reading through graphic, explicit and downright scary articles, I swallowed my rising panic with great difficulty. Saying a silent prayer, I called up a wise, half-a-decade older than me friend to discuss this new problem. She laughed like a hyena as she tutored me about tests, symptoms and what I could expect in the decade ahead. Discussing bowel movements as I eat black forest cake isn't a pleasant experience and I remember tossing out a rather big uneaten chunk after that conversation.

Feels like yesterday that I heard that but it isn't. It's almost a decade since that happened and now as I stand on the ledge staring down at yet another decade ahead of me, I feel strangely melancholic. The last decade has had its fair share of ups and downs but I am here and still standing. Not as robust but strong enough to stand against a little bit of wind. I do have three grey hair to take forward to the next decade and a skin that's weathered but it's thicker and it keeps me sane now. I am less impulsive and more pragmatic. Less analytical and more philosophical. Less arrogant and more forgiving.
I have picked up hobbies I discounted as boring or for the old. I have given up foods I never really cared for and started eating stuff I never really imagined eating. I sleep more and I have problems that only people my age can associate with. I have begun to step away from people who I assumed were friends and towards people I never imagined would be my friends. I have realized life is too short to explain to people who will never want to understand you or your life so it's best to let them assume what they want. In short, I have started embracing what appeals to me without really bothering about what might please someone else. Yes, my body has looked better and performed better but it's more trustworthy now. It recognizes its weaknesses and tells me when I need to slow down or take care of myself. It is my ally and the only one who can guide me through the uncharted waters of the decade ahead. Am I looking forward to it? Yes, bring it on!

I am back!

A friend of mine messaged me this morning to ask for my blog link. He wanted access to an article that I had written when I first started this blog. I struggled trying to comprehend which blog he was referring to simply because I now have two blogs and ironically, I have been lazy enough not to update both of them! Anyway, because he insisted I track down an article, I logged on and realized I have indeed been very lazy about updating my site. it isn't that I am short of topics to write about. Far from it. I have actually too much to do which is why I don't land up here, all that often...err...okay, fine! Sorry, I have been missing and I promise to be more regular.