A lot has changed since my last visit here. We have moved from a house into a home. Our very own nest. It was always a dream of the OH (other half) and mine to save up so that we could one day have a space which we could call our own. However, in this continent, dreams sometimes stay just that. So, I had kept my heart hopeful but my mouth shut not wanting to pressurize or influence OH's career goals with financial demands. But in 2014, after what was our 7th move, we decided that the moving boxes needed to go. We sat in the cellar and looked at the worn out, exhausted cardboard boxes and just decided we were going to move again. This time, to our own pad. We had been careful with our savings over the years, letting go of temptations because the ultimate goal was always our own home. There were times when we walked on while our noses were tempted by the tantalizing aromas from the Korean/Thai/Indonesian/Indian restaurant. Grumbling stomachs were silenced with healthy portions of fruits but we persisted and every cent that we saved, we put in our little piggy bank.
When we were handed the keys, the first thing we did was to throw away the big cartons. After we were done moving the pots and pans, we threw away the boxes as well. Suddenly, we felt liberated. We had always looked at a rental space as a house and now, suddenly we were standing in our own home. We could do as we wanted. We could paint the walls pink if we felt like it. We could put up art, hang light fixtures, drill holes in walls to put shelves. It took us a year to finally get the basic things we needed. We grew up a little and came to the realization that dreams require money too. 4 years down and we have more than what we started with and ironically, we are happy that it has taken us this long to get here. Every piece we call our own has a story and it is mostly about travel, perseverance and patience. Every piece sits proudly in its rightful place reminding us of a time when we would look longingly at a store or in a magazine. It makes us feel 4 years younger and gives us the power to keep dreaming. The thing is that if you don't dream, you don't push yourself into achieving. You settle for whatever comes your way and that's not what you wanted. So, don't be afraid to dream and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
30 going on 40
I remember my 30th birthday all too well. While most of my friends were in mourning and denial, I was hopelessly optimistic about this new decade I was entering into.
No sooner had I said my thank yous to aunts, cousins, friends and colleagues for their cards, flowers and calls, I started receiving letters for diagnostic tests for afflictions I had only read about and dismissed as old age problems. Holding onto my plate of creamy birthday cake in one hand, I used the other to ask the only non-judgemental online doctor I know,(google, who else?!) to explain. I mean surely one is allowed to have atleast a year before they get thrown into the world of life-threatening diseases. Apparently not. 30 is not just a number you forget and sleep over. After reading through graphic, explicit and downright scary articles, I swallowed my rising panic with great difficulty. Saying a silent prayer, I called up a wise, half-a-decade older than me friend to discuss this new problem. She laughed like a hyena as she tutored me about tests, symptoms and what I could expect in the decade ahead. Discussing bowel movements as I eat black forest cake isn't a pleasant experience and I remember tossing out a rather big uneaten chunk after that conversation.
Feels like yesterday that I heard that but it isn't. It's almost a decade since that happened and now as I stand on the ledge staring down at yet another decade ahead of me, I feel strangely melancholic. The last decade has had its fair share of ups and downs but I am here and still standing. Not as robust but strong enough to stand against a little bit of wind. I do have three grey hair to take forward to the next decade and a skin that's weathered but it's thicker and it keeps me sane now. I am less impulsive and more pragmatic. Less analytical and more philosophical. Less arrogant and more forgiving.
I have picked up hobbies I discounted as boring or for the old. I have given up foods I never really cared for and started eating stuff I never really imagined eating. I sleep more and I have problems that only people my age can associate with. I have begun to step away from people who I assumed were friends and towards people I never imagined would be my friends. I have realized life is too short to explain to people who will never want to understand you or your life so it's best to let them assume what they want. In short, I have started embracing what appeals to me without really bothering about what might please someone else. Yes, my body has looked better and performed better but it's more trustworthy now. It recognizes its weaknesses and tells me when I need to slow down or take care of myself. It is my ally and the only one who can guide me through the uncharted waters of the decade ahead. Am I looking forward to it? Yes, bring it on!
No sooner had I said my thank yous to aunts, cousins, friends and colleagues for their cards, flowers and calls, I started receiving letters for diagnostic tests for afflictions I had only read about and dismissed as old age problems. Holding onto my plate of creamy birthday cake in one hand, I used the other to ask the only non-judgemental online doctor I know,(google, who else?!) to explain. I mean surely one is allowed to have atleast a year before they get thrown into the world of life-threatening diseases. Apparently not. 30 is not just a number you forget and sleep over. After reading through graphic, explicit and downright scary articles, I swallowed my rising panic with great difficulty. Saying a silent prayer, I called up a wise, half-a-decade older than me friend to discuss this new problem. She laughed like a hyena as she tutored me about tests, symptoms and what I could expect in the decade ahead. Discussing bowel movements as I eat black forest cake isn't a pleasant experience and I remember tossing out a rather big uneaten chunk after that conversation.
Feels like yesterday that I heard that but it isn't. It's almost a decade since that happened and now as I stand on the ledge staring down at yet another decade ahead of me, I feel strangely melancholic. The last decade has had its fair share of ups and downs but I am here and still standing. Not as robust but strong enough to stand against a little bit of wind. I do have three grey hair to take forward to the next decade and a skin that's weathered but it's thicker and it keeps me sane now. I am less impulsive and more pragmatic. Less analytical and more philosophical. Less arrogant and more forgiving.
I have picked up hobbies I discounted as boring or for the old. I have given up foods I never really cared for and started eating stuff I never really imagined eating. I sleep more and I have problems that only people my age can associate with. I have begun to step away from people who I assumed were friends and towards people I never imagined would be my friends. I have realized life is too short to explain to people who will never want to understand you or your life so it's best to let them assume what they want. In short, I have started embracing what appeals to me without really bothering about what might please someone else. Yes, my body has looked better and performed better but it's more trustworthy now. It recognizes its weaknesses and tells me when I need to slow down or take care of myself. It is my ally and the only one who can guide me through the uncharted waters of the decade ahead. Am I looking forward to it? Yes, bring it on!
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
I am back!
A friend of mine messaged me this morning to ask for my blog link. He wanted access to an article that I had written when I first started this blog. I struggled trying to comprehend which blog he was referring to simply because I now have two blogs and ironically, I have been lazy enough not to update both of them! Anyway, because he insisted I track down an article, I logged on and realized I have indeed been very lazy about updating my site. it isn't that I am short of topics to write about. Far from it. I have actually too much to do which is why I don't land up here, all that often...err...okay, fine! Sorry, I have been missing and I promise to be more regular.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
look at the big picture
Human behaviour if documented, would make for interesting viewing.
Countless hours are spent dissecting other people´s lives and their shortcomings. Very few minutes are spent enriching one´s mind with ideas that can help make the world a better place.
I was very impressed and happy to read that this year the Time Person of the Year position has been given to the careworkers who are helping fight Ebola in Africa.
I have been following the lives of these brave individuals through CNN and BBC and I must say it takes sheer guts and determination to leave behind your comfortable lives to help the sick ones get better. Ebola is a contagious disease and these people know that yet they are willing to take the risk and help those in need.
These careworkers do not have the time to sit at the table discussing their colleagues, friends or relatives. They do not have the time or inclination to bring someone down with snide remarks or comments. To discuss weights, mood swings or even power or fame.
They are out there, tackling a disease that shows no mercy.
Many people have lost their lives after getting infected and so many more are in urgent need of medical help.
As this year comes to an end and the new one hovers along the horizon, let us hope that we will find a solution that will save many innocent lives.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Can we laugh at ourselves sometimes?
Have you noticed how people are waiting to poke fun at others or highlight other people´s problems at the drop of a hat? But when it comes to one´s own life, they are so guarded. To try and portray to the world how perfect everything is easy. When someone tries to speak out, they are labelled, "whiners" or worse still, "weak". Fact is, they are the strong ones. They are dealing with their problems head-on. They are confiding so that they can emerge out of it. The ones who label and the ones who laugh are the ones who need to look deep within. Everyone has problems. Some talk about it and some do not. The ones who do want to change their lives for the better. That in itself is a big step. A bold one. In a few years, they will have the ability to laugh and say, " I am glad I got my life sorted out". The ones who pretend will continue to smile for the world and hurt inside. What I think will help is not to categorize anyone so everyone can emerge out of their shells and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
Monday, September 3, 2012
a song for my life
Henry Mancini is my favorite composer. I grew up listening to his compositions and even today, when I feel low or when I seek inspiration, I listen to him. It's amazing how a particular tune or song can take your mind on a visual trip across your life. Mine takes me to a time when tablets and mobile phones never existed. We had LPs to listen to and holidays that included real outdoor activities. Carefree days spent wearing Bata slippers which were as durable as the pebbles you tossed in rain puddles on the street. I see kids in India today and I feel sad. For them. They will never know what it's like to be carefree and stress-free. To have a life that isn't about the latest gadgets and latest fashion. To constantly compete with kids as confused as you. There is always a competition but the competitors seldom know what they are competing for. Who defined the results? Who defined the race? Who decides what makes one happy? Shouldn't your mind and heart decide that? Isn't that what life means?
As I listen to a song for every phase in my life, I am transported to a life of joy and satisfaction.
Of course, there have been times when I wished I was someone else, yet had no choice but to wake up to the reality of being me. In the end, you are you. And in reality,you get to be only you. So might as well make the most of it then right?
Monday, September 5, 2011
happy teachers' day
Only one teacher has shaped me and my life. He has taught me how to keep my head up, weather the storms and keep walking towards my dream. He has made me the person I am.
Thank you god.And Happy Teacher's Day.
Thank you god.And Happy Teacher's Day.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
weather
The advent of summer is something everyone in Europe eagerly awaits. Where we live, it´s a blessing that one needs after months of brutal weather. And when I say brutal, I mean it. Harsh winds that can make garbage cans topple (it´s a huge task to merely move these waist-high cans), tree branches haplessly getting lodged in ventilators, the gate creaking in protest, the glasses shivering with fear as rain and wind lash against them. It´s drama unfolding till it´s time for the snow to start its journey on your manicured lawns, trimmed trees and prized rose bushes.
I am not going to elaborate on spring /winter/autumn in summer. That´s almost like feeding the wrong kid the first slice of a birthday cake and expecting the birthday boy to be a good sport about it. Summer is refreshing. It brings with it a fresh wave of excitement that seems to wash over the entire family. Everyone´s sense of adventure is in place as many families put out their houses to rent, take their campers and head out on a road trip.
Do I find summer exciting? Yes and no.
Yes, because from 3 layers I get to downgrade to 2 layers.
No, because when you come from where I do, summer means walking around in shorts. Here, if you do that, you will catch a cold.
But yes, the sun gets up before I do and sleeps rather late as well. I guess this is his idea of a slumber party.
Autumn on the other hand is the mischievous, untrustworthy brother of summer. You never know what he does. Sometimes, he will sit quietly and let you think he is the best kid the weather system has and sometimes, your house will beg for mercy as the winds and hail batter the roof and lash the windows with fury. I have unlimited patience though and I know it´s about enduring the drama for 2 months after which the calm winds cool the earth and bring a blanket of white fluff to soothe the agonies.
Winter. Can´t live with her. And without her.
I am not going to elaborate on spring /winter/autumn in summer. That´s almost like feeding the wrong kid the first slice of a birthday cake and expecting the birthday boy to be a good sport about it. Summer is refreshing. It brings with it a fresh wave of excitement that seems to wash over the entire family. Everyone´s sense of adventure is in place as many families put out their houses to rent, take their campers and head out on a road trip.
Do I find summer exciting? Yes and no.
Yes, because from 3 layers I get to downgrade to 2 layers.
No, because when you come from where I do, summer means walking around in shorts. Here, if you do that, you will catch a cold.
But yes, the sun gets up before I do and sleeps rather late as well. I guess this is his idea of a slumber party.
Autumn on the other hand is the mischievous, untrustworthy brother of summer. You never know what he does. Sometimes, he will sit quietly and let you think he is the best kid the weather system has and sometimes, your house will beg for mercy as the winds and hail batter the roof and lash the windows with fury. I have unlimited patience though and I know it´s about enduring the drama for 2 months after which the calm winds cool the earth and bring a blanket of white fluff to soothe the agonies.
Winter. Can´t live with her. And without her.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
expectation
Why is it that all communication targeted towards us expects us to be a certain way, behave in a certain manner or say the right things. Who dictates this? Why is it that some things are correct while others are wrong? Is it so wrong to be a dreamer or to have a mind of your own?
I remember when I was in school, doing Maths in a certain way was the only way to do Maths. I remember the teachers telling me what they were expecting. I remember wondering why I could not arrive at the same answer in a different way. I learned in a few years that I was expected to fit in just because the people around did not want to be challenged.They were expected to teach in a certain way which they did. So as a student, I was naturally expected to take in what was taught and was conditioned to work in the exact same way that was considered "right".
I wish there was a way to stop people from judging a fish by it´s ability to climb a tree. Difference in thought, traits and personality is what makes each one unique. By expecting everyone to be like you means that you are destroying diversity. You want comfort, stay at home. When you get out, learn to accept people and respect them for what they bring to the table. Learn to adapt and accept the ideas that float around when eclectic minds meet. Don´t expect your ideas to be the only ones that work. Don´t judge people by what you think is right. Never assume you know everything. You don´t. No one does. But each one of us knows bits that fit like a jigsaw puzzle and that´s why we need diversity.
I remember when I was in school, doing Maths in a certain way was the only way to do Maths. I remember the teachers telling me what they were expecting. I remember wondering why I could not arrive at the same answer in a different way. I learned in a few years that I was expected to fit in just because the people around did not want to be challenged.They were expected to teach in a certain way which they did. So as a student, I was naturally expected to take in what was taught and was conditioned to work in the exact same way that was considered "right".
I wish there was a way to stop people from judging a fish by it´s ability to climb a tree. Difference in thought, traits and personality is what makes each one unique. By expecting everyone to be like you means that you are destroying diversity. You want comfort, stay at home. When you get out, learn to accept people and respect them for what they bring to the table. Learn to adapt and accept the ideas that float around when eclectic minds meet. Don´t expect your ideas to be the only ones that work. Don´t judge people by what you think is right. Never assume you know everything. You don´t. No one does. But each one of us knows bits that fit like a jigsaw puzzle and that´s why we need diversity.
write right?
I tried getting away from writing but of late, I realize that it has not managed to get out of my system. I figured that there was a lot left to be said in life. After all, my experiences can´t really be summed up like an equation and left for another year so here I am.
You will have to forgive the typos and grammatical errors as I am a but rusty but if you bear with me, I am sure I will be the writer I used to be before I went into hiding.
So, incase you are curious I was hiding because I wanted to get away from writing. Why?
Simply because I spent 7 odd years doing nothing but that. Day and night sometimes. I got paid pittance but it never mattered because when you feel passionate about something, money hardly matters.
But then it got to me. People in the western society call it a "burn-out". I called it monotony. So, I moved on, started a new chapter in life, moved continents and changed my status, though not necessarily in that order. Heck, I even learned how to cook. Anyone who knows me will know how big a change that is.
Anyway, why am I back to blogging?
I don´t really know but when I woke up today, I suddenly felt like writing. Not just a thought, but an entire post! I should be excited because all this time I have been making excuses not to write, or work or get involved with anything that makes me get back into the life I had. I guess deep down, my ability to talk to people through my work never went away. So here I am. A bit blunt but give me a few posts and I will be my usual razor sharp witty self again.
Thank you for reading and see you soon!
You will have to forgive the typos and grammatical errors as I am a but rusty but if you bear with me, I am sure I will be the writer I used to be before I went into hiding.
So, incase you are curious I was hiding because I wanted to get away from writing. Why?
Simply because I spent 7 odd years doing nothing but that. Day and night sometimes. I got paid pittance but it never mattered because when you feel passionate about something, money hardly matters.
But then it got to me. People in the western society call it a "burn-out". I called it monotony. So, I moved on, started a new chapter in life, moved continents and changed my status, though not necessarily in that order. Heck, I even learned how to cook. Anyone who knows me will know how big a change that is.
Anyway, why am I back to blogging?
I don´t really know but when I woke up today, I suddenly felt like writing. Not just a thought, but an entire post! I should be excited because all this time I have been making excuses not to write, or work or get involved with anything that makes me get back into the life I had. I guess deep down, my ability to talk to people through my work never went away. So here I am. A bit blunt but give me a few posts and I will be my usual razor sharp witty self again.
Thank you for reading and see you soon!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
moving
I am back to blogging after a rather longish break.
I updated my status on one of these networking sites to say how exhausted I was and I quickly got comments and mails from people about how I don´t need a vacation... this coming from people who sit all day at their desks, surfing the net, nibbling junk food and gaining weight!
Well, not that I need to explain the term "busy" but looks like I should so that the above individuals understand what "work" actually means to the rest of us!
So, here´s my list of activities ( It´s far less tiring to read I promise!)
1. I was smelling paint, old garbage and trying not to think too much as I scrubbed away at that strange yellow stain on the kitchen wall...
2. Chasing giant spiders with the vacuum(landed up being chased instead)
3. Scrubbing out bird poop from the big wooden gate that is supposed to be used as the main gate!
4. Trying to go tip-toe across ant hills on the walk-way ( I got angry red attack points to prove how unsuccessful I was)!
5. Trying not to inhale pollen as I tried trimming wild bushes that seemed more keen to scratch me than get cut!
6. Cleaning radiators with a brush that was more interested in sitting in than getting out! When it did get out, it wasn´t a pretty site!
7. Waking up at 5 am to get a delivery which eventually landed up at 11 am!
8. Staying up for a delivery that was supposed to come at 4 pm but landed up coming at 8 pm!
9. Painting walls with a roller that was more keen on painting my knuckles than the walls.
10. Picking boxes that were 3 times more heavier than me.
11. Trying to rummage through the store room and make sense of the clothes that were never used.
12. Sorting books that should be donated to the library but for some strange reason still live with us ( 10 boxes full!)
13. Scrubbing tiles in the bathroom with anti bacterial liquid wipes and then scrubbing my hands with soap to make sure I wouldn´t get poisoned.
14. Packing all the cutlery we own into tissue, then into packaging material and then into boxes.
15. Unpacking the above, washing the above, drying the above, organizing and arranging the above.
16. Sorting the tissues and packaging material and packing them into boxes and carrying them into storage.
17. Surfing the internet till my eyelids shut just to find a good deal on a table. Chair. Sofa. Refrigerator. TV. Bed. Lights.
18. Trying innovative techniques to cover light fixture holes in the walls, ceilings and other places.
19. Folding, sorting and then packing clothes into boxes that seem too less.
20. Unpacking, sorting and arranging clothes into wardrobes that seem too tiny!
21. Scrubbing carpets that spew dust, hair and all sort of sneeze-inducing irritants.
22. Shampooing carpets then vacuuming them till they look as good as new.
23. Spending the weekends going to various stores to get deals on various things.
24. Getting back home with car full of things.
25. Unloading them and then driving half dead to the supermarket to get groceries.
26. Cooking with my eyes half shut.
27. Eating with my body half-asleep.
28. Making myself go back to the work site and assemble the furniture.
29. Trying to keep my eyes open and wondering why it doesn´t work like it should be working!
30. Realizing that I forgot to pick up two important fixtures.
31. Being too dead to curse myself.
32. Standing under the shower praying that the water will make the muscles stop aching and that the soap will magically slather itself over my tired body.
33. Realizing that the water won´t do any of the above but will definitely bill me a handsome amount at the end of the month for using so much of it!
34. Wiping all the furniture that has arrived and then trying to push it so as to arrange it in the room.
35. Realizing I have forgotten to pack a meal and that I have nothing to eat and no place in the vicinity to get food from.
36. Working through the protests from the tummy as the hours go by and the energy gets sapped.
37. Trying to be patient when people I don´t really know invite themselves to live with us on a date that we don´t know yet !
38. Having no place to sit when my legs protest so I settle on resting on a Bosch Grass trimmer box trying not to think of the damage it´s doing to my Victoria Beckham Jeans.
39. Trying to frame a painting but the glass breaks off and cuts my wrist.
40. Running through the kitchen with a bloody hand trying to find a clean cloth and trying to start the tap as the blood stains the floor I have just cleaned and polished.
41. Trying not to break down and start crying.
42. Trying to comfort myself with thoughts of a vacation.
So...when I NEED a vacation...I deserve it! If the above doesn´t say it to you...nothing else will.
I rest my case.
I updated my status on one of these networking sites to say how exhausted I was and I quickly got comments and mails from people about how I don´t need a vacation... this coming from people who sit all day at their desks, surfing the net, nibbling junk food and gaining weight!
Well, not that I need to explain the term "busy" but looks like I should so that the above individuals understand what "work" actually means to the rest of us!
So, here´s my list of activities ( It´s far less tiring to read I promise!)
1. I was smelling paint, old garbage and trying not to think too much as I scrubbed away at that strange yellow stain on the kitchen wall...
2. Chasing giant spiders with the vacuum(landed up being chased instead)
3. Scrubbing out bird poop from the big wooden gate that is supposed to be used as the main gate!
4. Trying to go tip-toe across ant hills on the walk-way ( I got angry red attack points to prove how unsuccessful I was)!
5. Trying not to inhale pollen as I tried trimming wild bushes that seemed more keen to scratch me than get cut!
6. Cleaning radiators with a brush that was more interested in sitting in than getting out! When it did get out, it wasn´t a pretty site!
7. Waking up at 5 am to get a delivery which eventually landed up at 11 am!
8. Staying up for a delivery that was supposed to come at 4 pm but landed up coming at 8 pm!
9. Painting walls with a roller that was more keen on painting my knuckles than the walls.
10. Picking boxes that were 3 times more heavier than me.
11. Trying to rummage through the store room and make sense of the clothes that were never used.
12. Sorting books that should be donated to the library but for some strange reason still live with us ( 10 boxes full!)
13. Scrubbing tiles in the bathroom with anti bacterial liquid wipes and then scrubbing my hands with soap to make sure I wouldn´t get poisoned.
14. Packing all the cutlery we own into tissue, then into packaging material and then into boxes.
15. Unpacking the above, washing the above, drying the above, organizing and arranging the above.
16. Sorting the tissues and packaging material and packing them into boxes and carrying them into storage.
17. Surfing the internet till my eyelids shut just to find a good deal on a table. Chair. Sofa. Refrigerator. TV. Bed. Lights.
18. Trying innovative techniques to cover light fixture holes in the walls, ceilings and other places.
19. Folding, sorting and then packing clothes into boxes that seem too less.
20. Unpacking, sorting and arranging clothes into wardrobes that seem too tiny!
21. Scrubbing carpets that spew dust, hair and all sort of sneeze-inducing irritants.
22. Shampooing carpets then vacuuming them till they look as good as new.
23. Spending the weekends going to various stores to get deals on various things.
24. Getting back home with car full of things.
25. Unloading them and then driving half dead to the supermarket to get groceries.
26. Cooking with my eyes half shut.
27. Eating with my body half-asleep.
28. Making myself go back to the work site and assemble the furniture.
29. Trying to keep my eyes open and wondering why it doesn´t work like it should be working!
30. Realizing that I forgot to pick up two important fixtures.
31. Being too dead to curse myself.
32. Standing under the shower praying that the water will make the muscles stop aching and that the soap will magically slather itself over my tired body.
33. Realizing that the water won´t do any of the above but will definitely bill me a handsome amount at the end of the month for using so much of it!
34. Wiping all the furniture that has arrived and then trying to push it so as to arrange it in the room.
35. Realizing I have forgotten to pack a meal and that I have nothing to eat and no place in the vicinity to get food from.
36. Working through the protests from the tummy as the hours go by and the energy gets sapped.
37. Trying to be patient when people I don´t really know invite themselves to live with us on a date that we don´t know yet !
38. Having no place to sit when my legs protest so I settle on resting on a Bosch Grass trimmer box trying not to think of the damage it´s doing to my Victoria Beckham Jeans.
39. Trying to frame a painting but the glass breaks off and cuts my wrist.
40. Running through the kitchen with a bloody hand trying to find a clean cloth and trying to start the tap as the blood stains the floor I have just cleaned and polished.
41. Trying not to break down and start crying.
42. Trying to comfort myself with thoughts of a vacation.
So...when I NEED a vacation...I deserve it! If the above doesn´t say it to you...nothing else will.
I rest my case.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
two years
Two years that have given me more happiness, more love, more understanding, more gifts, more compliments and more pampering than I am used to. Two years that have taught me that loving someone else is far more fulfilling than loving yourself. Two years that have changed me as a person.
Thank you god for these two years. They have been the best years of my life.
Thank you god for these two years. They have been the best years of my life.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
my best friend
You know who you are.
You have taught me to look up
though the road below has been non-existent.
Seen me cry when I fail.
And never mentioned it again.
You have been harsh and blunt when I needed it.
And kind when my heart was breaking.
You have been the happiest when I was successful.
And upset when I let go without a fight.
You made me a fighter.
And helped me weather more storms than I could on my own.
As I write this, I realize I have been fortunate.
Not everyone is this lucky.
You have taught me to look up
though the road below has been non-existent.
Seen me cry when I fail.
And never mentioned it again.
You have been harsh and blunt when I needed it.
And kind when my heart was breaking.
You have been the happiest when I was successful.
And upset when I let go without a fight.
You made me a fighter.
And helped me weather more storms than I could on my own.
As I write this, I realize I have been fortunate.
Not everyone is this lucky.
women´s day
As I write this, I get the news that Kathryn Bigelow has won the award this year.
I can´t help but feel proud of this woman´s accomplishments though I don´t know her. It makes me feel like she has scored a point for all the women out there, just like Beyonce did a few months back at the Grammy Awards.
We are proud of you two just as we are proud of all the housewives, stay-at-home moms, working moms, grandmoms and career women in the world. You make a big difference to everyone´s lives even though you might not see the results on a day-to-day basis.
Thank you for changing my life in ways you can´t imagine.
I can´t help but feel proud of this woman´s accomplishments though I don´t know her. It makes me feel like she has scored a point for all the women out there, just like Beyonce did a few months back at the Grammy Awards.
We are proud of you two just as we are proud of all the housewives, stay-at-home moms, working moms, grandmoms and career women in the world. You make a big difference to everyone´s lives even though you might not see the results on a day-to-day basis.
Thank you for changing my life in ways you can´t imagine.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
time-pass
The last time I went visiting home, I ran into some not- so- immediate neighbours. The 50-something aunts who have never worked in an office their entire lives but who like to ask you what you do for a living.
I have worked 6 plus years in an industry that squeezed me to a size zero with endless days of work, meetings and stress. So, I decided to take a well-deserved break to do things I enjoy, look a bit healthy and just be at home to work at my own pace. So to be asked what I do for "time-pass" is something that amused me quite a bit.
Why does one needs to work in an office outside the house just to prove how busy and independent one really is?
Having visited and stayed on both sides of the fence, I feel this entire conversation is wasted. Atleast on me.
Most women work because they need the money. Some work because they love to network, or because they get pleasure from the kind of work they do - could be research-led or in design or something noble like healthcare.
Lots of women also work because they are talented and they want to showcase that talent.
Everyone can find a job at some place or the other, doing something or the other so how does it make anyone less talented or hopeless if they decide to stay at home??
And just for the record, whoever said staying at home meant a vacation?
In the Western World, you can also do office work from home. Along with the other jobs that are taken for granted elsewhere - yes, that includes doing dishes, gardening, washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping, entertaining...the list is endless but time as we all know is limited...so once again I ask, "TIME PASS??!?!"
Of course, the condescending attitude isn´t just from the 50s- something aunts. Sometimes I get it from people who belong to the same age group as me.
They like to term "house-work" as a brain-dead job. I let them live in their fantasy world. Fact is, the beds don´t clean themselves, the clothes don´t get washed and ironed magically, good food doesn´t prepare itself. There is work involved in every one of those chores. Hard work. Work that requires careful planning, execution and skill.
So here´s what:
If you want to stay at home and love staying at home, do just that. Do not let pessimistic people make you change your mind.
If you like to step out, make new friends and work outside the house to make some money, go ahead.
Remember each has its merits. So no need to compare the two.
Chairman isn´t a post just at the office. One can enjoy it at home as well.
I have worked 6 plus years in an industry that squeezed me to a size zero with endless days of work, meetings and stress. So, I decided to take a well-deserved break to do things I enjoy, look a bit healthy and just be at home to work at my own pace. So to be asked what I do for "time-pass" is something that amused me quite a bit.
Why does one needs to work in an office outside the house just to prove how busy and independent one really is?
Having visited and stayed on both sides of the fence, I feel this entire conversation is wasted. Atleast on me.
Most women work because they need the money. Some work because they love to network, or because they get pleasure from the kind of work they do - could be research-led or in design or something noble like healthcare.
Lots of women also work because they are talented and they want to showcase that talent.
Everyone can find a job at some place or the other, doing something or the other so how does it make anyone less talented or hopeless if they decide to stay at home??
And just for the record, whoever said staying at home meant a vacation?
In the Western World, you can also do office work from home. Along with the other jobs that are taken for granted elsewhere - yes, that includes doing dishes, gardening, washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping, entertaining...the list is endless but time as we all know is limited...so once again I ask, "TIME PASS??!?!"
Of course, the condescending attitude isn´t just from the 50s- something aunts. Sometimes I get it from people who belong to the same age group as me.
They like to term "house-work" as a brain-dead job. I let them live in their fantasy world. Fact is, the beds don´t clean themselves, the clothes don´t get washed and ironed magically, good food doesn´t prepare itself. There is work involved in every one of those chores. Hard work. Work that requires careful planning, execution and skill.
So here´s what:
If you want to stay at home and love staying at home, do just that. Do not let pessimistic people make you change your mind.
If you like to step out, make new friends and work outside the house to make some money, go ahead.
Remember each has its merits. So no need to compare the two.
Chairman isn´t a post just at the office. One can enjoy it at home as well.
Friday, November 27, 2009
flower
Petals so frail.
Yet so sprightly.
In hues that can´t be defined.
It has no name. Nor a family.
It grows in the trails.
Quietly.
It awaits no approval.
Or appreciation.
No pride it feels.
Or expectation of recognition.
In the rain it bathes.
The air it breathes,
defines an existence of simplicity.
No expectations it holds.
It knows its fate.
After all, few days is all that it will manage.
Yet so sprightly.
In hues that can´t be defined.
It has no name. Nor a family.
It grows in the trails.
Quietly.
It awaits no approval.
Or appreciation.
No pride it feels.
Or expectation of recognition.
In the rain it bathes.
The air it breathes,
defines an existence of simplicity.
No expectations it holds.
It knows its fate.
After all, few days is all that it will manage.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
smile
Five characters.
One word.
To express joy.
or relief.
To hide pain.
Cover embarrassment.
Millions of faces express it differently.
Showing their teeth.
Pursing their lips.
Not smiling with their lips,
but with their eyes.
Some of us need inspiration.
Or company.
We seek a reason
or cause.
But there are some
who smile not for themselves
but for others.
Who suffer in agony within
but smile to brighten the lives of those around.
I salute those selfless gifts of god.
Those who can smile through their tears.
And make the world around them smile.
Through thought, act or even gesture.
And when these inspirations become stars in the sky,
They still keep wanting us to smile.
One word.
To express joy.
or relief.
To hide pain.
Cover embarrassment.
Millions of faces express it differently.
Showing their teeth.
Pursing their lips.
Not smiling with their lips,
but with their eyes.
Some of us need inspiration.
Or company.
We seek a reason
or cause.
But there are some
who smile not for themselves
but for others.
Who suffer in agony within
but smile to brighten the lives of those around.
I salute those selfless gifts of god.
Those who can smile through their tears.
And make the world around them smile.
Through thought, act or even gesture.
And when these inspirations become stars in the sky,
They still keep wanting us to smile.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
cotton candy
It´s currently -8 degrees where I live. The last few days have seen snow, some sun, no heat, plenty of mist and a lot more sniffles. It´s ironic that I grew up in a country where heat was in excess and here I am paying for heat to keep warm. Such is life!
I am not going to complain though. There is something alluring about snow. It´s pure fluff that makes you want to touch it and store it in a box to look at, time and again. While we are at it, here´s a little secret:
I like tasting snow. Yes, really. Any by that, I don´t mean swallowing everything the sky showers. Just a bit to savour the true magic of nature. It doesn´t cost a fortune. It does however add to my ever growing list of things I cherish in life.
This cotton candy is for me...even when I turn 60.
I am not going to complain though. There is something alluring about snow. It´s pure fluff that makes you want to touch it and store it in a box to look at, time and again. While we are at it, here´s a little secret:
I like tasting snow. Yes, really. Any by that, I don´t mean swallowing everything the sky showers. Just a bit to savour the true magic of nature. It doesn´t cost a fortune. It does however add to my ever growing list of things I cherish in life.
This cotton candy is for me...even when I turn 60.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
wet head
What´s worse than stepping out in winter? Taking a hair bath in winter.
Seriously, have you tried it? I can assure you that it´s not a very pleasant experience.
When you are in the steaming bathroom, it´s different. As hot water nurses your body from the cold weather outside, you feel like a baby, comfortable and happy. Once the hot water flow halts, it´s hell. So you grab a fluffy towel and cover your head and it feels nice and warm. You get dressed and then let the towel stay.
Honestly, I want to hold on to it forever. When I take it away, I know what happens. Wet hair makes contact with my neck and my skin revolts. And mind you, I don´t feel any better when I use the blow dryer either. Because when I stop and try brushing my hair, it´s wet again and sticks to my scalp.
I could try cutting my hair shorter but I know that it would be the winter´s gain and my loss. So I am going to be brave and come up with an idea. When? Well, I am hoping before the winter ends!
Seriously, have you tried it? I can assure you that it´s not a very pleasant experience.
When you are in the steaming bathroom, it´s different. As hot water nurses your body from the cold weather outside, you feel like a baby, comfortable and happy. Once the hot water flow halts, it´s hell. So you grab a fluffy towel and cover your head and it feels nice and warm. You get dressed and then let the towel stay.
Honestly, I want to hold on to it forever. When I take it away, I know what happens. Wet hair makes contact with my neck and my skin revolts. And mind you, I don´t feel any better when I use the blow dryer either. Because when I stop and try brushing my hair, it´s wet again and sticks to my scalp.
I could try cutting my hair shorter but I know that it would be the winter´s gain and my loss. So I am going to be brave and come up with an idea. When? Well, I am hoping before the winter ends!
Friday, November 14, 2008
first day
The clammy hands, the galloping heart, butterflies in the stomach and nausea are so common when you are faced with "the first day". It could be the face day anytime or anywhere - play school, school, college, university, first day at first job, first day at tenth job, first date, first meeting with prospective in laws, first ever trip to a supermarket. "First" for me is disastrous. I say all the wrong things, drink lots of water, want to use the rest room all the time, feel like I am going to throw up when I haven´t eaten much, keep checking for zits or molecules that might have found themselves on my face since the last time I checked it ( that would be every minutes). Overall, I am just babbling and making no sense. The after-effects mind you, are far worse! I revisit every painful detail and cringe. I shouldn´t have said that! I should have said that! Why did I do that? Any by "that" I mean vague stuff like, shaking my feet at ridiculously high speeds, chewing my own lip off, stopping my eyes from blinking so that the other party feels like i am in the room, gripping tightly to anything that I can find- pencils, desk weight, paper, bill, cup... I guess you get the drift. I don´t know why this happens and no matter how much I coach myself to stay calm and think of the positives, my anxiety gets the better of me. I once entered a really huge supermarket without a trolly. I couldn´t find a trolly and I didn´t know whom to ask so I entered and gathered everything that I could in my hands and at the cashier´s counter deposited it with flourish. The confused cashier probably thought I was nuts. Who carries 13 odd items in their hands afterall? I do. "It´s my first day" I wanted to tell her. I am just like that. So don´t ask me and don´t tell me these things. I am sure I will think about this when I get home and cringe. Why, I am writing about it. Which means I am not over the incident yet!
Sigh, " the first day". Looks like I have to live with it. It´s one of those obsessions that will never stop because "the first day" shall always be there for the rest of my life at some point or the other.
Sigh, " the first day". Looks like I have to live with it. It´s one of those obsessions that will never stop because "the first day" shall always be there for the rest of my life at some point or the other.
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